to voice your opinions….Know you must
get depressed reading all this bad news but…
Not sure what I am going to do but mom only
has 55 days left in her stay at the tendercare.
Do I bring her home with help or sign her up
for medicaid and keep her there for longer? Confused
I have a lot of experience with eldercare but
this time it may be more than I can handle.
Medicare insists on a 60 day break period between each
100 day stay in a facility. OH.. I didn’t know that..Thinking
no one explained it to me before quite that clearly.
So now I have to start thinking of what to do when
the time comes…
Guess I need more info or wait until we see how
mom progresses with her therapy or her next
procedure. She fell last night and hurt her knee
when she tried to get up and could not stand on her
own..She forgot she was weak.
Worried YES.. I am.. they put all kinds of alarms
on her today and her bed so she cannot do anything
without them knowing. That will help..but what kind
of problems will occur from the fall I don’t know.?
Appreciate any thoughts you all may have on this
as right now I am tired and sometimes miss the most
easy or clear thing that is right in front of me. Sleepy
As in the past, I value and welcome all your experience
or thougths and opinions on what is happening with
mom. Spaces Family are the greatest bunch of caring people
I have ever been around..




I was a caregiver for the elderly on and off for over 30 years.I am now retired and enjoying a new life. I love blogging and have kept a personal journal for 40 years. I enjoy the freedom of being creative and interacting with the millions of other bloggers in the world.I love learning the new things that the computer world has to offer. I have made friends that will last a lifetime blogging, something I never ever thought would happen. I hope you enjoy my blog,and will continue to visit me in the future.

12 responses »

  1. They make it so hard don’t they Carol. I know you have a lot of experience but if she falls at home will you be able to help her up? You can probably get a visiting nurse to come once or twice a week if you decided to take her home. I don’t know about there but here you can get them to come and get her and transport her to dialysis from home too. So if they do that you wouldn’t have to help her to the car and get her there. With that said, since she needs SO much care right now it might be best to sign her up for medicaid and keep her where they have everything she needs in the advent of an emergency. My heart sure goes out to you. I know exactly what you’re going through and what you are feeling and I know how hard it is to decide but I know you’ll make the best decision for all of you.Lots of love and hugsSherry

  2. If I would have finished my thought in my email earlier I would have said the important thing that Sherry just did. I think it’s too much Sis..and it may be best to sign her up for medicaid after all. I know..my heart breaks for the three of you. Lots of love to you Honey girl.

  3. I will never forget when Jim fell at home when he was so sick. I couldn’t get him up by myself. It took 3 grown men to get him up. I think you don’t have any choice but to sign your mom up for medicaid and go from there. I am so sorry it has come to this Carol. My prayers are with you all.

  4. From experience we had to go with the senior care apartments adjoining the nursing home and had a nurse tend three times a day and once in the night. The falling down and getting hurt was also because of not thinking of weakness. Ended up going next door to the nursing home and became a ward of the state and they take over. I know this is hard, I really do. But realize you are not letting her down, but helping her to get the best care. She wouldn’t want your life all frazzelled and lack of sleep and end up getting sick by tending her. Get some rest my friend and tomorrow you and your sister will work it out together. Big hugs my friend.

  5. How ironic my mom just fell down on her walk today and severely broke her ankle. She had to go through surgery and a very long day but we finally got her home…when it rains it pours. I can see my dad is less and less able to handle things so this is really tough. Much is going on at the church and I’ve got to take that since she will be out of the loop. I don’t have any huge pieces of advice my friend only my prayers for you that the way will become clear. God bless you and guide you my friend.

  6. No easy answer here. I’m so lucky my Mom is able to take care of herself. You are quickly becoming the expert here—for better or worse!

  7. Sorry that you have all this going on. I don;’t think there are no easy answers especially since it’s your Mom and you only want the best for her. You can only do what you can do , wish I had the answers for this. Take care and Know that I am thinking of you and your Mom. Hugs always

  8. Having been in this position, I would suggest that you leave her in the care facility. It broke my dad’s heart to put my Mom into long term care but it was what was best for both of them.

  9. I know it’s rough to go through this, but I too feel you should sign her up for medicad andleave her where she is. They are best able to handle things right now and you and your sis are right there for her. It’s definitely a tough decision you girls have to make and I know you will do what’s best for your mom. God Bless you both.Hugs

  10. It sounds to me like what’s best for your mom, and you, is for her to stay in there and make progress. I know you don’t want to do this and can’t blame you for asking for help. Sometimes an objective opinion is someone who isn’t involved.You love you mom and you’re doing a great job of keeping track of everything for her. Having her come home wouldn’t necessarily be the best thing. First, you’re in for a lot of work. I know, you’d willingly do it. BUT, you can’t help your mom if you’ve worked yourself into exhaustion, flu, pneumonia and more. Second, your mom isn’t going to get the Rehabilitation that she needs to possibly make the transition home in the future.Good luck, I hope it works out for both of you. We’re here for you.

  11. I forgot my friend, if your Mom has a carve out policy for her medicare it will pay usually 80% of the stay if medicare won’t.

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