Recently one of the therapists told me that Sis and I were visiting mom too much at the care center. “Dear, we are concerned that you are visiting and spending too many hours here and you should be giving yourself a break now and then.” I paused a minute to take in what she said. It might be true that we do spend many hours more than other people do there. It also is true that Mom does a whole lot better when we visit than when we stay away. She needs assistance eating right now, and despite the fact that we have talked and urged every person there to help her with meals.. NOTHING has been done about it. I asked the head administrator to step in and make sure there were orders to help her. So far.. they are dragging their feet. STAY away and see if they follow through with the order if you are not there…DID NOT WORK. We have a friend who has stopped in on Mom at meal time and she was alone and not eating at all. IS this serious.. YES! Is it worth pulling her out of there.. NO not yet. Decisions, Decisions.. when is enough really enough?
I value the opinions of my blog readers.. I sure will appreciate any thoughts you may have on this subject. whether you have experienced it or not. Given Mom’s condition and how weak she has been, do we just sit ourselves down and MAKE ourselves NOT visit her? The therapist’s opinion was that 3 or 4 days a week was plenty and NEVER more than 2-3 hours maximum. She would not miss us that much at all. I BEG TO DIFFER! She notices it!! I told the therapist that. She is “with it” enough to KNOW she hasn’t seen you in days. It would be easy to do if Mom were able to do more for herself right now, but she can’t. I DO have complete confidence in the staff there. I know they are taxed to the limits with running after so many patients. I have been there to see it for myself. I have asked them if THEY think we are spending too much time there. I think they held back in their answers though, because with us present…well.. it is less work for them naturally. I am not there to DO their jobs, just help mom some until she regains some strength, if she ever does regain it to the point it was before she got sick.
Mom has been through so much in the last several months. We asked her often if she really wants to continue with her treatments. She has made it all too clear she is not ready to just “give up”. I think when that time comes she will know it. It’s true her mental state is pretty confused these days, sometimes she confuses day with night and other times she is pretty with it. Time to make decisions.. but when to do it.. THAT IS THE QUESTION.
I thank you all in advance for your opinions I value them highly..